Controlling Modern Heretics

In the One, Holy, and Global Church of the UN (Second Revised Orthodox) thou mayest not speak against the known, proven truths as entrusted to His Highness, keeper of the Keys to The Current Consensus.

Thus it came to be that Lord Monckton was removed with alacrity from the chapel at the UN Climate Summit for saying, “In the 16 years we have been coming to these conferences, there has been no global warming…”

Gasp! For this heresy he was quickly “escorted” from the chapel and stripped of his UN credentials. In addition, there have been calls to deport Monckton from Qatar to prevent utterances of this sort from further defiling the sacred proceedings.

The Climate Depot reports milord’s trick and the quick retribution:

After the news conference, and as diplomats gathered for the climate conference president's assessment of how close countries are to agreement, Monckton quietly slipped into the seat reserved for the delegation of Myanmar and clicked the button to speak.

"In the 16 years we have been coming to these conferences, there has been no global warming," Monckton said as confused murmurs filled the hall and then turned into a chorus of boos.

The stunt infuriated negotiators and activists here who gather every year to address what they believe is one of the world's top threats, the steady rise of man-made global warming.

Ah yes, they do indeed believe, those activists. And they demand that you fall into line with the tenets of their beliefs or your existence will not be tolerated.

The Climate Depot follows the news with information backing up Monckton’s contention:

Monckton was referring to the latest temperature data showing a 16 year stall in global warming.

Related links on 16 year global warming pause:

UK Daily Mail: 'Global warming stopped 16 years ago' according to UK Met Office 'quietly released' report — 'Pause' in warming lasted about same time as when temps rose, 1980 to 1996' — 'The new data, compiled from more than 3,000 measuring points on land & sea, was issued quietly on internet, without any media fanfare, &, until today, it has not been reported. This stands in sharp contrast to release of previous figures 6 months ago, which went only to end of 2010 – a very warm year...From beginning of 1997 until August 2012 there was no discernible rise in aggregate global temps.'

UK Daily Mail: 'Claim that there has been any statistically significant warming for past 16 years is therefore unsustainable' — Reaffirms 'a 16-year 'pause' in rising temps' — 'Two new separate peer-reviewed studies, published in prestigious academic journals last week [challenged 'Hockey Stick'] — 'The level of warmth during the peak of the MWP in the second half of the 10th Century, equaled or slightly exceeded the mid-20th Century warming.' There was also a pronounced warming period in Roman times'

Flashback 2011: A PNAS peer-reviewed admission that 'global surface temperatures did not rise between 1998 and 2008'

Each of those is linked at Climate Depot’s post.

Certainly we can all agree there is a place for free speech, but Lord Monckton obviously has lost his page in the rule book which would’ve shewn him the proper spot for such utterances. At the moment, the rules permit free expression in the privacy of one’s dressing room at midnight on the Tuesday following a full moon. Such “expressions” are to be finished and the room cleansed in the usual manner before the striking of the half-hour.

By his sacrilegious behavior, this errant lord demonstrates his lack of reverence for the One, Holy Global Church. There are also credible reports of his connection to the Christian fundamentalist, Breivik (that is the wording of the report). Since ABB named Monckton in his Manifesto the influence is all-too-obvious.

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The usual extermination methods for heretics are no longer permitted under the new pollution laws. Lord Monckton cannot be set alight whilst tied to a stake and standing on a pile of dry faggots. This would cause intolerable levels of effluence and off-gassing.

Wait! Here’s a solution: the authorities could take this unrepentant miscreant to New York City and perform the necessaries there. Any smoke shouldn’t noticeably increase the current level of toxic waste fumes emanating from Mayor Bloomberg’s precincts. Besides, Hizzoner would welcome the resulting uptick in the tourist economy.

Obviously something must be done with the heretic, and those Occupy Wall Street children would be happy to gather again for such an event. Of course, the problem would be dispersing them once the resulting grease spot was removed by the City.

In any event, this is a nettlesome problem for our betters to resolve. Nothing we need to worry our little brains about, hmmm?

Here, have another Happy Meal.